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Maybelle Tham

Growing in The Comfort Zone.

Changing for the better doesn't always have to be a challenge.

I think we have all heard of the saying - “Life starts once you step out of your comfort zone!”


In fact, when I first entered SMU, the first piece of advice given to me was to try new things; to say yes to more events and opportunities. A senior (from The Blue and Gold) even listed that as one of his regrets as a graduating student - not having stepped out of his comfort zone enough. But my hot take? Stepping out of your comfort zone is a little overrated.


When I first stepped into SMU, I was overwhelmed with many, many opportunities. From CCAs to internships to orientations, from workshops to networking sessions, there seemed to be something for everyone.


Most importantly, I had a culture shock - everyone appeared to be a go-getter and were just as, if not even more, relentless than I expected.


I realised the pressure was real.


I guess I might have been influenced by the people around me because I ended up trying for CCAs, camps, and workshops that I would not have previously considered.


And as expected, I didn’t enjoy them. I thought “Hey, if you didn’t get the desired outcome, at least you learned something from it, right?” Well, I did. Hence, the reason for this article.


Into The Unknown - What Lies Ahead?


I know it’s great to try new things. However, having a clear understanding of your strengths and weaknesses is crucial when navigating new situations and opportunities.


When you know what you are capable of, it allows you to identify which prospects are worth pursuing and which might set you up for disappointment. Blindly pursuing every chance that comes your way can lead to fear, anxiety and frustration which erodes your confidence over time.


Instead of feeling empowered by taking risks, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed and begin to doubt your abilities. It is always good to approach new situations and opportunities with discernment — focusing on those that align well with your skills and abilities can allow you to develop a sense of achievement and motivation rather than discouragement.


Without a doubt, stepping out of your comfort zone can feel intimidating.


However, it is also important to acknowledge that the feelings of fear in these situations are entirely normal! Succumbing to your fears rather than trying to conquer them does not signify weakness. Rather, it showcases a wise recognition of your emotional state. Fear serves a vital purpose, acting as an instinctual response that alerts you to potential dangers.


Embracing this fear without dodging or shaming it can help you evaluate risks and opportunities more thoughtfully. Understanding and respecting your emotional needs can lead to more informed decisions, ensuring that when you choose to venture out of your comfort zone, it is grounded in self-awareness and readiness – rather than rashness and abandon.


The Role of Peer Pressure


No man is an island - especially not in the small yet vibrant SMU community.


Before making a decision, I believe most of us would choose to get the opinion of our peers, seniors or even strangers online. While peer pressure can encourage one to push beyond their limits and foster positive growth, it can backfire as well, when individuals feel compelled to conform to the expectations and behaviours of their peers, even if those actions conflict with their own values or comfort levels.


It is easy to give in and say “yes” to activities that would force you out of your usual comfort zone. This is when staying within your safety zone protects you and others from any harm that could possibly arise.


Don’t get me wrong though. Stepping out of your comfort zone is good advice - however, many people take that advice a step too far and pressure themselves excessively in the name of “no pain, no gain”. What often comes after that is regret and anxiety which makes one wonder if it was truly worth the cost.


Ouch, That Really Hurt!


I believe that growth doesn’t have to be painful. It is possible to strike a balance between staying comfortable and not letting your fear and anxiety inhibit you from trying out new things.


The answer lies in the title - do it when you are ready!


Build the emotional and mental fortitude that you need to take on new challenges. When that happens, stepping out of your comfort zone no longer feels like a struggle. I find that reflecting on past experiences (both negative and positive ones) that involve you stepping out of your comfort zone can be a good starting point. 


My experience with abseiling in primary school has taught me that I would never, ever do it again. I figured that if I were to try out any high-element sport again, the motivation to do so has to come internally, not from peer pressure. This has led me to try out rock-climbing. A worthwhile experience that I would have potentially missed out had I overstayed my welcome in the comfort zone!


Finding out the root causes for your fear is also important. It is perfectly fine for us to not jump into new activities and social circles immediately, and listen to what our gut tells us - a no is a no, regardless of what anyone claims is the best thing to do (I am quite sceptical of self-proclaimed subject matter experts, especially those that claim they know what’s best for you better than you do).


After all, you know yourself best and you know when the right time is, so trust yourself.


Time and Tide Waits for No Man


There is another problem - what about the opportunities you miss when you stay in the comfort zone for too long?


The truth is whether it’s a job opportunity, a romantic situation, or even a class part opportunity, it’s always easy to look back and question your decisions. However, letting the past hurt your present is never worth it – as harsh as it might sound, the opportunities were perhaps never meant for you to begin with. 


Making peace with it really helps; having faith that better opportunities lie ahead and that you will be better prepared to grab them will help to ease any feelings of regret and loss.


Concluding Thoughts


Stepping out of one’s comfort zone should be a journey of self-discovery, rather than a source of fear and pressure. It’s about embracing new opportunities and experiences while also recognising that it is okay to say “no” when something doesn't feel right.


Rather than giving in to external pressures, focus on what truly aligns with your own personal goals and values and march to the beat of your own drum.


By doing so, you would feel empowered to forge a path that is uniquely yours. So, take it easy and start when you are ready — you have everything you need to thrive!

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