What's the difference between being lonely and being alone? Do humans, like chameleons, change colours for acceptance, risking genuine connections and true relationships?
As I encountered different people while growing up, I realised that we all are a bunch of chameleons. Why do I say that? Chameleons are best known for their capability of shifting to different colours. Humans are not far behind. There are a couple of times when we, human beings, change our personality or even our degree of brightness to suffice society's requirements.
With the growing world, the authenticity of relations has declined. We’ve all heard the saying, “A true friend will always be there for you,” but how often does this ring true today? Trust, once the foundation of any relationship, is frequently broken for personal gain or self-interest. This shift has led many people to develop what I call "chameleon behaviour"—a tendency to change ourselves to meet the expectations of others, driven by fear of rejection or judgment.
This unethical trend of ‘using’ friendships or any relation has led to the establishment of chameleon behaviour. I perceive that every person who cannot be trusted, cannot be vulnerable, or wants to be another ‘fish in the pond’ develops chameleon behaviour. Chameleon behaviour is also present in a friend who thinks very little of you in your difficult phase of life and who is worse than an enemy. The fear of being judged, ridiculed, or misunderstood becomes so pervasive that we begin to put on masks, hiding our true feelings and personalities just to fit in.
In an era where people are more connected yet feel more alone than ever, many have turned to diaries or private reflections to express themselves. Why? Because a diary doesn’t judge. It listens without bias, never demanding that you put on a façade. In my opinion, this growing disconnect from genuine human interaction has led to a rise in emotional isolation. People may surround us, yet we feel utterly alone.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that chameleon behaviour isn’t all bad. In certain situations, adapting to the environment can bring a sense of self-satisfaction. It may help us avoid conflict or criticism, and for a moment, we might even feel validated by others. But this constant need to adjust can erode our sense of self over time. Are we being true to ourselves, or are we simply living in fear of imperfection? The more we conform to societal standards, the more we question our own identity.
Society has drawn clear lines between what is “right” and “wrong,” and we often feel compelled to stay on the “right” side, never daring to show our flaws. But this pressure to always be perfect comes at a steep cost. By constantly changing our colours to meet expectations, we close ourselves to new perspectives, becoming less open to feedback and personal growth. This, in turn, affects our ability to form genuine connections, as we hide behind masks to maintain the illusion of perfection.
Being alone and lonely are two very distinct words. Alone is when you are physically by yourself, but lonely is when you are emotionally disconnected from others. Chameleon behaviour does lead to loneliness and a sort of disconnection from the world of reality. We may feel trapped in a loop of pretending, constantly worrying about how those around us perceive us.
One must understand that this act of playing in front of our close ones will create a loophole in our relationship. If they genuinely love you, they will love you for who you are and not for the different colours that you show them. It is time to cherish our relationships and be grateful; otherwise, we will be known as ‘the pretentious mammals’. In the end, we all crave genuine connection and acceptance. But to find that, we must first be willing to show up as ourselves—flaws, imperfections, and all.
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